Bad Romance
by Violetlight
Summary: As Greed and a newly female Envy explore their growing relationship, Lust grows more and more irritated with her siblings, until a chance to finally be with the one she has always wanted presents itself. Ties into my other FMA stories.


**Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood**

"**Bad Romance"**

By Violetlight

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, in any of its incarnations. That pleasure belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. I am simply borrowing her universe for entertainment purposes only.

Timeline: About a hundred years before FMA:B, and before my main story in this fandom, _Wheels Within Wheels_ (which I also hope to continue!), during the one year where Greed and Envy were a couple (described in the first chapter of _Wheels_), shortly before he left the homunculi for good. Also takes place at least a few months before my other one-shot, _Something About Us__. _It would also probably help to read the first of the little oneshot "themes" in my collection, _Knight and Dragon: Themes of Greed and Envy_. The theme entitled _Spite_ describes Envy and Pride's little argument prior to this story.

Author's Note: It's been a long, long time since I ventured into this fandom. I've just started getting back into writing in general, after the birth of my own little Pride and Joy, Arden, about 4 years ago. I just got looking at some old stories, including this one, sitting half-finished on my hard drive, and what can I say, I got inspired!

Special thanks also to Shocotate, my beta reader, and another FMA writer from way back who recently returned to the fandom as well! If you like Pride/Lust, please give her stories a read!

* * *

"Got any threes?"

"Envy, we're supposed to be playing Poker, not Go Fish, but thanks for that."

Lust glanced over the top of her latest novel at her siblings, who sat across from each other on the floor of Father's Library with what seemed like far more than a single deck of cards and multi-coloured poker chips scattered between them. Greed's attempts to teach Envy how to play cards had been, for the last hour, far more entertaining than the bland, clichéd characters featured in this latest Jester Romance. Honestly, there was only so many times she read about the heroine finally giving into her lusts (pardon the pun), only to – surprise! End up pregnant and fretting about what to do about it. Those kinds of "plots" only served to make her happier to be a homunculus. No possibility of having to carry some parasite around for nine months, no worries about disease ... yes, homunculi certainly had it easier than humans when it came to sex, and she was by far not the only one in her family to take advantage of that fact, as Greed and Envy had eagerly demonstrated for the last few months – a far more interesting drama than anything her novels could offer, though not without its pitfalls.

She had warned Greed that Envy would be a clingy, high-maintenance and of course, jealous lover. He hadn't listened, not that Greed ever listened to anyone else once he had decided that he _wanted_ something. She had told Envy that Greed would just see her as another possession. Her stubborn "sister" listened even less than Greed did, accusing _her_ of being jealous of Envy for 'taking him away'. Lust had rolled her eyes at that comment. He'd be back, he always was, as he considered her _his_, and Lust, as always, let her brother have his delusions. So she had sat back and watched their relationship unfold like the plot from one of her novels, though with considerably more "domestic" violence, she guessed she could call it, and far more vulgar language involved. After her siblings' rocky start, it was a relief to see them actually enjoying spending time together _while_ clothed, just peacefully playing a game ...

"Ha! 3 tens! Give up the glasses!"

Perhaps "peacefully" was too strong a term.

"Not so fast, my little monster," Greed flashed his hand with a shark-toothed grin. "4 sevens."

"Dammit! Fine." Envy's weird, heelless and toeless sock on her right foot almost seemed to be "covered" by her own, pale skin, as she shapeshifted away the "article of clothing", with red alchemical sparks jumping from her foot.

"A sock, really?" Greed raised an eyebrow. "By this point you shouldn't have anything left on but a smile – you little cheater!"

"Oh, like you don't have three extra pairs of sunglasses hidden in your vest," Envy pointed out.

Greed leaned back against a bookshelf casually. "So what if I do? That's not the point."

"This game's boring anyway," Envy crawled over to her brother/lover and just as casually lay back against his chest, settling herself between his legs. She looked up at him, just as he planted a small kiss on her forehead. "Want to go have sex instead?"

"We spent all morning screwing. Don't tell me you're horny again already," Greed mock-complained, his lecherous smile giving him away as he wrapped his arms possessively around Envy's bare midriff. "Besides, I _want_ to do more with you than just have sex, and you should know by now, what Greed _wants_, Greed _gets_."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Envy had learned fairly quickly the futility of arguing with Greed when he got into an "I want" mood, not that it usually stopped her. "Hey, Lust is here; we could play Old Maid," she snickered.

Lust did not dignify Envy's remark with a response. She just shifted a little, trying to get comfortable on the rather hard settee she was currently reclined on, and focused back on her book, though after a minute or so she gave up actually trying to read anything. How could she concentrate when her siblings were acting so pathetic? She frowned to herself; if Envy and Greed had simply started making out on the library floor, like they would have a few weeks ago, she would not have batted an eye. No, instead they were just talking about something among themselves, not in a particularly quiet way (it was still Greed and Envy here), but not directly calling attention to themselves either. They were just mildly flirting and cuddling, not outright groping each other. Overall, they seemed to be lost in their own little world. Lust knew those actions only too well; it was so much easier to manipulate stupid humans when they acted like that towards her, but to see her own siblings doing so ...

Lust let out an irritated sigh. "You two are still homunculi, stop acting like that."

"Like what?" Greed asked, in a way that suggested he did not particularly care as to what the answer was.

"Like ... never mind. I don't feel like arguing."

"Then why'd you bring it up?" Envy asked smugly, as she snuggled closer against Greed.

Lust suppressed the urge to snap something quite impolite at her "sister". For the past few months it had been the same thing, the same clinginess to Greed, at least while Lust was around, flaunting the fact that their brother was now paying more attention to her. Even Envy's new choice of gender was evidence of that. They were just small changes to her preferred androgynous shape; anyone else would have easily overlooked Envy's slightly wider hips, the small rise of her chest, the softer, more feminine features. But to Lust, she might as well have hung a sign over her head that said "I'm a girl now! And I'm _his_ girl! What'cha going to do about it?"

"Fine, act like a pair of lovesick teenagers, I don't really care," Lust said as she flipped the page in her book. "But if Father or Pride catch you two carrying on like you have been, they might."

Greed scoffed. "As long as we keep doing our jobs, Dad doesn't give a flying fuck what, or _who _else we do. You know that, Lusty."

"And Pride can kiss my little green ass – hey, quit that! I'm trying to talk here!" Envy added, as she smacked Greed's wandering hand away from her skort, no doubt wanting to 'check' her claim about her rear end's colour. "Seriously, what's his deal anyway?" she settled back against Greed's chest. "I mean, none of us have ever done anything to defy Father or threaten the Plan. So why won't he just leave us alone, stop treating us like little kids?"

"To Pride, Envy, we _are_ little kids, ironically enough." Lust explained, not looking up from her book. "He treated me as such from the moment I was Created, when you two," she pointed at her siblings, just slightly extending a talon in emphasis, "were just bad ideas yet to escape from Father's mind."

"Hey, how do you think Pride was Created anyway?" Greed asked, somewhat changing the subject. "My personal theory is that Pops ate too much Xingese food one night, or something, gave out a big burp, and out popped Pride!" He grinned as his 'theory' evoked the expected response from his sisters. Envy burst out laughing and even Lust could not hold back a few giggles.

"And how long after his Creation do you think Daddy's Precious Perfect Little Prick shoved that stick up his ass?" Envy added, "cuz he hasn't taken it out yet!"

"Does Pride even _have_ an asshole?" Greed wondered.

"Dare you to check!" Envy cackled.

"You know if he hears you two, you're both going to be 'put in your place'," Lust reminded her siblings.

Envy huffed, blowing a stray bang away from her forehead. "What's he going to do? Bore me to death with another lecture?" she pouted.

"Bore _you_ to death, in particular?" Greed asked. Lust was impressed that Greed picked up on that slip of Envy's tongue (though, she supposed he was used to her slippery tongue by now).

Envy crossed her arms. "The jerk was trying to tell me that us having sex went against the Plan. Psstt, whatever!"

"Who does that little Prick think he is, trying to say who I can screw?!" Greed complained.

"He thinks you and Lust should only screw each other, because 'blah blah Father, blah blah Plan, blah blah blah usual bullshit.' It's like he thinks he's got to do Father's job for him. Ironic that little suck-up would have the _least_ amount of trust in Father of any of us."

Lust finally closed her book, giving up completely on reading anything. "It does make sense that he'd think that, from Pride's point of view," she said carefully. _Yes, Pride would want to 'do Father's job' of keeping us 'in line', because he'd think he'd be freeing Father's time up to concentrate on the Plan, but it has nothing to do with him not trusting Father. Quite the contrary ..._ she thought to herself.

Envy, however, had an entirely different interpretation of Lust's comment. She leaped up, red sparks crackling around her as she glared at Lust. "Oh no, you had your chance, sister! Greed's mine now! So keep your claws off him!"

"Honestly, Envy!" Lust said exasperatedly.

"Ladies, ladies, no need to fight. I have the perfect solution." Greed got up and wrapped his arms around both his sisters' shoulders. "Greed. Sandwich."

"And feed your already-overbloated ego? I don't think so." Lust leaned away from her lecherous brother (sometimes, she really thought Father should have named _him_ Lust), tactfully ignoring the "victory" smirk Envy gave. At least she could count on Envy's jealousy to never allow Greed to get away with _that_ kind of idea ... not that it did not have a certain appeal.

Envy, to her credit, knew exactly how to take advantage of Lust "rejecting" their brother. She pulled Greed towards her and wrapped her arms around his neck, then two more sprouted from her sides, their green scales smoothing to pale skin in seconds as she wrapped them around his waist, one of her new hands slipping down the back of Greed's pants. "You made your choice," Envy smirked at Greed. "Do I need to remind you why?"

"Please do," Greed smirked back, and well, greedily met Envy's lips.

A small, knowing smile crossed Lust's face as she picked her book back up, and got up from her settee, content to leave her siblings to their … activities. The last thing she needed was her Sin picking the most inopportune time to express itself, and have Greed end up getting his way after all. She would never hear the end of it from either he or Envy if _that_ happened.

As she made her way towards the library door, Lust heard a slight sound from somewhere above her. She looked up, in time to see a magenta-irised eye flicker close, before a shadow slipped silently out the doorway.

Not quickly enough, as Envy's gasps, from whatever Greed was doing to her, changed to a snarl. Ignoring her lover's indignant "Hey!", Envy pushed Greed out of the way and shoved past Lust and through the door, alchemical sparks already crackling around her as she swore "that little eavesdropping fucker!"

"Goddamn it!" Greed swore. "Fuckin' little cockblockin' Prick!"

"Envy!" Lust yelled at her sister's retreating, wall-climbing form, not that it did any good. She then turned to her annoyed brother. "Come on."

"Good idea!" Greed gave a shark-toothed grin and spread his Shield up over his hands, his fingers now tipped with diamond-hard claws. "Our _dear_ older brother could use a good ass-kicking!"

"Like that will ever happen," Lust countered. "Besides, you know Father doesn't like us fighting, especially when he's busy working on something, like he is today with Gluttony's gate."

"Heh, I was wondering where Glut was."

"Never mind that! Do you really want _him_ to punish Envy?"

"... good point," Greed said, and followed his sister out into the tunnel.

* * *

Sometimes, Lust wondered just why Father had made her and Greed so humanlike compared to their siblings. It certainly did not seem to be any sort of advantage in situations like these, as even with hers and Greed's inhuman speed, they were still having trouble catching up to their shapeshifting sibling, as the tip of a long, green reptilian tail turning the corner was all Lust could see of Envy further down the labyrinthine tunnels of the Lair.

"Caught you, you little bastard!" multiple voices seemed to say in unison.

_Damnit, she's gone Unleashed State. _ Lust looked briefly over at Greed as he ran beside her. His face was set in a determined mask, as he extended his Ultimate Shield completely as soon as he heard his lover's voice(s). At least his relationship with Envy had not dulled his common sense, well, as much as Greed had any. Following suit, Lust extended her own talons to about half of a metre in length as she turned a final corner.

Just as Lust had thought, Envy was in her enormous, dragon-like True Form, somehow still fitting into the tunnel (maybe she was smaller than she usually was in this shape, not that made that much of a difference). What shocked Lust, however, was what she did _not_ see. She had expected to turn the corner to find Envy entwined in Pride's shadows, a short but violently familiar battle that Pride would usually be quick to win, but the black tendrils were nowhere in sight. Pride himself, however, most definitely was, as his small, childlike container was ensnared by Envy's chameleon-like tongue.

"Aw, 'Vee, what'd you get yourself into?!" Greed moaned.

"Wait!" Lust held out her extended hand, keeping her brother from barging right into the middle of things. "There's something wrong with Pride."

"Huh?" Even with his Shield up, Greed managed to look confused. "Hey, she's winning this time? Alright Envy!"

"Greed!"

"What? After how many times he's kicked our asses, he deserves it."

"You really think it'd be that easy?" Lust eyed her eldest brother suspiciously. It could still be a trick; he might be throwing Envy off guard before attacking, but ... that wasn't like Pride. Swift and efficient was more his fighting style in the times when Envy's or Greed's tempers got the better of them, and Pride had to remind them just _who_ was the strongest homunculus. Now, however, the deceptively young-looking homunculus simply wasn't moving, even as Envy tossed him up in the air with her tongue, before smacking him like a tennis ball with her tail, sending him flying down the tunnel into a wall. "Greed, I'm going to get Pride out of there. Keep Envy distracted."

"Wait, you're going to do what?"

"Just distract her!"

"How am I supposed to do that? In case you didn't notice, she's a giant green death lizard at the moment!"

"I know this might be difficult for you, but just _think_ of something!" Lust shrunk down her talons to only about 30 centimetres long, before rushing towards her fallen brother.

"You know, when I said I wanted to spend more time with Envy, this isn't what I had in mind!" Greed yelled back over his shoulder as he headed in the opposite direction. "Okay 'Vee, you've had your fun, now shrink back down and I'll take you out for a chocolate parfait? ... I don't think Pride even has blood ... Whoa, hey! Cut it out!"

Despite the noise in the background, Lust was not worried about Greed – if anyone could calm down Envy in such a state, he could. She focused her attention on Pride. He was crumpled in a heap against the wall where he had landed, scrapes covering his small form, despite his container's near carbon-strength skin. No blood flowed from the scrapes, however, as he, unique among the homunculi (except perhaps for Father) had no blood. His skin injuries, minor as they were, were regenerating at a far slower rate than usual as well.

_I'm going to hear it from him later_, Lust thought as she scooped her older brother up in her arms. He was as light as the child he resembled, and, more worrisome, did not protest to her 'rescuing' him. He did not say anything at all, instead he just looked at her, almost curiously, through half-closed eyes. Quickly, she carried him down the tunnel, away from their enraged sister and flustered brother, towards her own room.

* * *

"Feeling any better?" Lust asked as she lit another candle on her dresser, its flickering light joining at least ten others. Pride liked candlelight, it was perfect for his shadows, and Lust wanted him to feel more comfortable. It did not seem to be making much of a difference, however. Pride was still in the same position he had been in for the last ten minutes, still perched at the end of her bed, his feet dangling over the edge – a childlike action in stark contrast to the annoyed look on his face.

"You didn't have to interfere. I can handle Envy." Pride said and crossed his arms.

"Normally, yes, you can handle Envy and her temper tantrums better than any of us. But you weren't acting like your usual -"

"Its."

"Excuse me?"

"You called Envy 'her'. Envy is not female, nor male, for that matter, so the proper possessive would be 'its', not 'her'."

"And now I'm getting grammar lessons from the ten year old. Lovely."

"I'm not ten, and you know it!" Pride snapped.

Lust moved closer to him, positioning herself next to him on her bed. Thinking about it for just a second, determining the risk of a shadow skewer was worth it, she put her hand on her brother's shoulder. "Pride …"

Pride turned his head, surprised at the contact, and met her gaze.

"What's really bothering you? I can tell something is. After all, that's part of my job," Lust gave a small smile, "and you did say I was your best student, out of all our siblings."

Pride gave a small smile back. "It is a … relief, that I can have an intelligent conversation with one of you."

Lust nodded. She knew only too well. Greed and Envy were too full of themselves to have real discussions with, Sloth, even when he was around, didn't care, and Gluttony, as much as she enjoyed her simple-minded brother's company, was just that. No, it was Pride alone she could connect to on an intellectual level, and it made her feel that much closer to her childlike older brother.

No matter how much she may … resent that fact about him.

"Lust?"

Lust snapped back to reality, and noticed with surprise her hand had slid down Pride's shoulder, his small hand now grasped in hers. The look on his boylike container's face was questioning, but not in the usual haughtily, enforcing way he had. No, he genuinely looked concerned for her.

Lust shook her head slightly. "Sorry Pride, I'm supposed to be helping you."

Lust expected him to arrogantly refuse such a notion, but surprisingly, the older homunculus gazed downwards instead. "You heard what Envy said," he said simply.

So he had been spying on them, just as Lust had thought. The admission though, was unusual. Lust could only guess that was Pride's way of showing his respect for her intelligence, to not lie to her.

Encouraged, she squeezed his hand gently. "From what I could gather from Envy's complaining, you simply reminded her that Greed was made to be my equal and opposite, not hers." Lust stated matter-of-factly. It was no secret Greed's Ultimate Shield complemented her Ultimate Spear so perfectly. Pride himself had numerous times praised their Father's designs of his second and third children.

Pride looked up, staring into the space in front of him. His eyes narrowed as his hands balled into fists, a stray shadow leaked from his container and snaked behind him. "Why did Envy have to go and mess everything up? Father made you and Greed to be together, and for Envy to interfere with that interferes with the Plan! It must!"

"What do you mean 'it must'? I've never heard Father say anything whatsoever about –" Lust thought for a word, "inter-homunculus relations."

Pride shook his head. "It just has to! That's the only logical explanation. Father made Greed the way he is because I …" he snapped mouth shut suddenly, but the stray shadow behind his head suddenly grew a mouth, which snapped its flat, even teeth in what Lust could only interpret as frustration.

"Pride …" Lust placed both her hands on Pride's container's shoulders, and turned him to face her. "Just tell me," she said, with all seriousness. _Tell me what you've wanted – what I've wanted you to say for so long …_

**"Remember your place, sister!" **Pride's true voice echoed off the walls of Lust's room, as his shadows swarmed out, forcing her arms up, her Ultimate Spears out of reach of his container should she choose to strike at him. Two sharp, shadowy tips pierced the alchemical nodes on her hands, as more shadows followed the red leylines up her arms, stopping at the nodes just below her shoulders, piercing there too.

Lust could not help but gasp as Pride paralysed her, as she felt his shadows – so soft but so strong! – wrap around her arms, and now her feet too, holding her up like a puppet on strings. If _anyone_ else dared had to do such a thing to her, she would have been so furious that _she_ might as well have been named Wrath!

But this was Pride. Her older brother, her mentor, her confidant. The purest of all the homunculi, save their Father himself. Nothing of the stench of humanity polluted privileged Pride, and she admired that so much about him. Strived to be more like him. _Wanted him …_

Lust had never felt her Sin so strongly before …

Her gasp turned into a moan.

And Lust suddenly found herself tumbling back onto her bed. At least Pride had not dropped her on the floor.

**"Don't do that!"** he ordered.

"Do what? Admit that _you_ are the one I've wanted since Father first Created me?" Lust said as her composure slowly returned. Pride knew; there was no use in lying about it now.

**"It doesn't matter what we want!"**

Lust smirked, "We?" She kept up the smooth, ironic smile outwardly, while inwardly, she cheered. _Yes! I knew it! _

Realising his mistake, Pride scowled, his shadows retreating behind his container, but swirling around him in agitation. "It doesn't matter what we want, how we feel. Not when I'm like … this," he said so softly it was almost a whisper.

For a few minutes, both Lust and Pride were lost in thought. He was right, of course. His container had the form of a child. Pride was Father's first Child, quite literally, and always would be.

After a few more minutes of silence, Pride continued. "Father, in his infinite wisdom, made Greed – and even Envy – with the ability to give the assistance in managing your Sin that I could not. It is not my place, or any of ours, to question that wisdom." He said it like a mantra, like it was something he had been telling himself for centuries.

"Did Father ever actually say so, or are you just … presuming his Will?" Lust asked.

Pride opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.

Encouraged by his silence, Lust continued. "Don't you think that if Father was _really_ that upset with how Greed and Envy have been exploring their relationship, he would have put a stop to it immediately?"

"Why would Father waste his time with such a trivial matter?"

"Why, indeed?"

Pride eyed her, still wary. "Don't try to use the same tactics that work so well on humans on me. It won't work."

"I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'd just like you to see the truth that's in front of you," Lust said in her most sincere voice. "As you said, Father made us the way we are for a reason. Your container is perfect for the positions he assigns you, and I wouldn't want that to change," she stroked Pride's container's face affectionately. "However," Lust continued, as she moved her hand upwards and caught one of the flailing shadows behind him, "your container isn't you, Pride, and it's _you_ I want." She let the shadow flow sensuously through her fingers until she reached the tiny, hand-like tendril at the end. She raised the tendril to her lips, and kissed it softly. She could taste him, a barely there presence on her tongue, and felt him shiver.

Lust's smile widened as she heard the soft sighs from the shadow mouths surrounding her. She gazed into the closest shadow eyes, Pride's _true_ eyes. "We just have to be a little more … creative," she concluded.

**"To deny ourselves … would be to deny our Father, deny our destiny …"** Pride said, his voice echoing as his shadows lifted his container and gently set it down on the large pillow Lust had placed next to her bed for Gluttony.

Lust noticed the container's eyes unfocus, then close, as more and more shadows came pouring out, until just a small tendril stayed attached, a thread to a doll, unneeded at the moment.

Lust gave a smile that would make Envy, well, envious, as she turned her attention back to the swirling vortex of shadows. She leaned back into the true, pure form of her lover, as Pride enveloped her, felt her, lifted her off her feet, supporting her completely as he nibbled at her oh so gently with a hundred little mouths, as shadowy tendrils wrapped around her.

She pulled him closer to her as her dress merged with her body, the tiny bit of "shapeshifting" she was capable of, excluding her Spear. She exposed herself to his hundreds of eyes, just as she had always wanted, and moaned sensuously as she felt him press against her breasts, her stomach, every centimetre of her cocooned in his shadows.

Once again, Lust gazed up into the closest eye, "do you feel as good as I do?" she breathed.

**"Your desire is mine," **Pride assured her, in the strongest whisper Lust had ever heard. **"I feel what you feel, **_**my**_** Lust." **

"Then take what's yours, what has always been yours, _my _Pride!" Lust gasped, and parted her legs.

The feeling of him reaching down from her hips, and up from her thighs at once, of finding just right way to stroke her, for his flat, but still sharp little teeth to graze her, then the indescribable feeling as he found her most sensitive spot … he was so gentle and firm at once, so focused on _her_ pleasure, for hers was his.

He wasn't at all like the lecherous human males who leered at her, or like Greed, focused on getting what _he_ wanted, or Envy, usually bitchy but compliant when she asked him to help her while in the field, treating her like a chore. No, Pride wanted _her_. Not some idea of what she _should_ be.

Pride was different. Pride was _better_, in every sense of the word.

Lust's eyes rolled back as she felt him enter her, slowly at first, then he _filled _her with his essence, all the while still nibbling and stroking – he knew _exactly _what to do! She heard sighs and moans from his mouths, the reassurance that he felt just as good as she did, that they were _one!_

Greed and Envy together couldn't compare! Hell, they could _have_ each other!

All Lust wanted, all she needed, was Pride, and he was hers. She was his. They were each other's.

Always and forever, they completed each other.

* * *

"Come along, Gluttony," Homunculus' sandaled feet tapped lightly against the floor of one of the tunnels of his lair, on his way to his library. With just a few more minor, alchemical adjustments, his alterations to Gluttony's Gate would be complete – he just needed the proper runes. "After this, my son, should you accidentally swallow one of your siblings, their Philosopher's Stone will merge with yours after a few days, then I can remove them."

"Okay Father, whatever you say," Gluttony followed obediently, obviously not understanding a word Homunculus was saying, but obeying the order to follow nonetheless.

As frustrating as Gluttony's simple-mindedness could be at times, his unquestioning obedience was refreshing.

Unlike some of his siblings.

Homunculus turned a corner and stopped. Speak of the devil …

"Hey Pops," Greed casually waved from where he was reclined between Envy's two, gigantic forepaws.

His middle child was curled up in its gigantic True Form, holding its brother between the foremost of its four pairs of paws like a favourite toy as it breathed lightly, obviously asleep. At least the oozing, screaming renditions of its Philosopher's Stone's souls were absent from its flanks and legs. Still, the draconic Sin was completely blocking the tunnel.

"So Pops, turns out Envy's a girl in this form too. Did you know that?" Greed grinned, and stretched out against his sister's paws.

"I don't want to know _how_ you figured that out." Homunculus almost groaned. His eye twitched, reminding him that he really needed to decide what to do with his Wrath soon. "Envy! Get up and get out of the way!"

"Whaa…?" Envy groggily lifted her lizard-like head and blinked, her multi-irised eye focusing on the figure in white before her. "Father!" she somehow squeaked in that form. "Right away!" Alchemical sparks surrounded her, and a moment later, the monster had shrunk back down to its usual humanoid form.

Homunculus' eyebrow lifted. Now that he saw her closely, it _was_ really apparent that Envy's usual form was not all that androgynous anymore. "You're looking … different."

"Oh! Um, yes, Father. I've been trying out a more feminine form lately, but if you want me to change back …" Envy sputtered out an 'explanation'. She turned, not at all subtly, towards Greed, with an apologetic look.

Just as Greed opened his mouth, no doubt to argue, Homunculus held up his hand. "There's no need. As long as both of you continue to perform your duties, it would be beneath me to care what else you do." He smiled wryly as obvious relief crossed his son's and – daughter's, he supposed – faces.

"Just wait 'til I tell Pride!" Envy not so-quietly 'whispered' to Greed as Homunculus walked past them. "I'm so going to rub that right in his smug prick face!"

"Envy, shut up!" Greed hissed.

"Where is your brother, anyway?" Homunculus asked with a smirk. He did not need to see the shocked look on Envy's face to know it was there.

"Last I saw, he was in Lust's room," Greed said in a tone that suggested he didn't really care.

"Ah." Homunculus closed his eyes. Yes, he could sense his eldest creation, his second eldest, and _exactly_ how they were currently occupying their time. "Heh, it's about time," he said, and left the younger wondering as to just what he was talking about. It hopefully would not take them long to catch on. "Come along, Gluttony," he repeated and entered his library, frowning at the mess of cards and poker chips left on the floor. He ignored them, sure that Greed would retrieve his possessions soon enough. For now, he had far more important matters to attend to than his children's drama.

However entertaining they might be.


End file.
